S2: Episode 15 - Pamela

[Intro Music]

Narrator:  Welcome to Hunger and Resilience, narrative histories about the complexity and experiences of hunger. A traveling exhibition and weekly podcast edited and hosted by Michael Nye, supported by the San Antonio Food Bank, Eric Cooper, executive director. We are grateful for the honesty and eloquence of every voice. Episode 15, Pamela.

Pamela: My name is Pamela. I live in San Antonio, in Texas, and I’m 55 and I’m an artist. I was born in front of Duffy’s Tavern. My mom gave instructions and my father, <laugh>, who was horrified at the sight of blood, um, he actually delivered me. It was Green ’49 Chevrolet. And that’s the first time that I was ever early for anything in my whole life. I wasn’t gonna wait. I was going to <laugh> join the real world. If you take away from a table, the salt, the pepper, the sugars, milk, and then you put down two plates and you put biscuits down, and you put a little piece of cheese. If you do this to somebody, I think they just get tired. You can’t imagine the the power of a meal. And that’s looking inside out. We’re in a glass house and nobody’s looking. I, everything happened all at one time.

I had to care for my husband with his heart condition, and I, um, I do have cancer, but I didn’t realize that it was as progressed as it is. We lost our house. We lost everything that I held dear. It was like a, a rush of, of a wave, which was beautiful. But this wave had the spines of the manir hunger. How do you say it? How do you let somebody see what it is? Hunger is where you feel a pain in your stomach. When you feel weak, it’s blinding. And then it, it gets to a point where you don’t even want to eat because it hurts. Do I fear dying? No. But yes, I think I do. I’d miss everybody <laugh>. I, I would miss everybody if I were gone. I love listening to people, and you have to do one good thing each day. My husband and I were going to have a very quiet Thanksgiving because we had no food in the house. The day before Thanksgiving, I opened the door to go out because I’d go out and yell at the world. And there was this huge turkey, cranberries, and veggies, real veggies, <laugh>, and they were all there. And I don’t know who did that, and I cooked it. It was just beautiful. But that was the most joyous find that I’ve had in a long time.

[Outro Music]

Host:  This is season two, a weekly podcast, narrative histories about the experience of hunger and resilience and of understanding. During my conversation with Pamela, she asked me if I thought anyone might listen to her story. I told her, yes, yes, yes, they will. May something in her story, in her voice, stay with you. I’m Michael Nye. Thank you for listening. Every person, every place is a map to somewhere else.